i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
