I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
