Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
