I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
