I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
