I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
third nipple confirmed
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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