I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I love having hate sex.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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