JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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