Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
