rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
