Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
