You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
