YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
this beer tastes like vomit already
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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