You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
