so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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