last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i will never coherently bang her
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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