wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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