Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
