I wanna bring you to show and tell
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
