i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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