Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
