Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
FUCK WHALES
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
