I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
