so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
