I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
