So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
