You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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