What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
