He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
it hurts more in the daytime
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize