y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
