Do you still have your period?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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