I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
