Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize