To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
