The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
