Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
