were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize