i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
