haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
