barbara walters just said penis...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
