so explain again why im purple
no
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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