god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
