Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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