She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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