Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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