o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
