it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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