my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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