we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize