when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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