You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
BRING THE BAGELS
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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