wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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