I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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