i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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