That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
