you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
