you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize