you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
