Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
