Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
