Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize