i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I would fuck him just for his dog
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