omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize