that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize