There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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