wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
These tits shall not be calmed
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
