I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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