Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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