I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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